Winter Is Coming To The United States

In many parts of the United States, it has been a relatively warm December and you can still bear witness to people venturing outside wearing shorts and sandals. It made for an interesting November, but now that it’s December, things are starting to get a little weird.

You may have even be tempted to think that maybe all this global warming isn’t so bad after all. But heed my warning, while people are eating and drinking and making merriment, a cold winter is sneaking up on us. Cue the Game of Thrones theme song.

As global warming causes weather in both extremes, I can still honestly say “Damn you, global warming!”

Roughy 80% of the United States is expected to endure a cold blast that will significantly lower temperatures to below freezing. Areas between Montana and South Texas will see temperatures drop 20 to 30 degrees, and similar happenings are expected within the Northern Plains where wind chills will see temperatures drop to as low as -40 degrees.

Local Ohio geese regret not being able to warn us due to their handicap of being geese, but would like to thank us for all the fish. [Don Ryan—AP]

But winter involves more than cold temperatures. There can also be snow, and in excess it can be quite annoying especially since we ain’t just talking about shoveling the damn stuff. Too much ice and snow can lead to traffic emergencies and car-pileups. In fact, this isn’t the future, it is already happening in Michigan and Ohio.

Damn you Frosty…damn you and all your kind! I always liked Rudolph better…


[Featured Image: Game of Thrones]

This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...