Vagina Beer Is Now A Thing Thanks To The Germans

Leave it to the Germans to come up with a kind of beer that’s so unnecessary and head-scratching that it can only be German… and just in time for Mother’s Day, too… *shudder*

All you creepy people around the world can now drink beer made with vaginal secretions (a word that shouldn’t be associated with food & drink) thanks to The Order of Yoni. Those of you who are familiar with Sanskrit might know that Yoni means “vagina.” Curtis Cook of the Willamette Week uncovered the product while researching a story about the transgender bathroom controversy. Somehow he stumbled upon this gem and the company’s two-minute video explaining why you should be drinking vagina beer.

Man, that just felt wrong to watch.

“Standard” bottles of their beer will be made using the “essence” of a Czech supermodel, and their website suggests that there are other makes of the beer available. Not sure about y’all, but beer made from the “lactic acid bacteria” or anyone’s vagina doesn’t exactly sound appealing. What’s more, you can send the company samples of your girlfriend’s “essence” so they can brew you a special, and really creepy, beer.  If this is something you’re interested in, then you’ll be happy to know that “every model in the beer project has to sign the contract with high penalty for working in adult industry, sex industry, as adult actress, escort, prostitute, etc., etc., etc.”

They also insist that the beer made with vaginal secretions isn’t disrespect, because it celebrates your mom…

“…vaginal lactobacillus bacteria are transferred from a mother to a child during childbirth, so mother’s Yoni bacteria are becoming part of child’s immune system. The Order believes the beer is a tribute to our mothers and a tribute to the act of childbirth. It is far, far from disrespect for a woman.”

Creepy enough for you? Because it’s not stalker-ish enough to drink vagina beer is it? You just haaaad to bring up mom. Oh, and it’s listed as a “sour ale.” Man, none of this is right at all.

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