Hillary Beat Trump: The Website We Deserve

For most people, “The Onion” is the ultimate satirical news publication in spite of whatever mean things Seth MacFarlane has to say about it. Technically, this website covers real current events… weird and bizarre, but real nonetheless, so we’re not even in the running, but a new website has created an alternate reality reflecting issues of current political unrest that seemed ever-so-close to reality.

Remember when I covered ivory tower liberalism or the Shy Tory effect in practice? ‘Cause I sure don’t!

HillaryBeatTrump.com is exactly what what you think it is and focuses on an alternate reality where the popular vote was given preference over the Electoral College. The website currently has titles like “New York Times Slams Clinton For Giving ‘Yet Another Excellent Press Conference,” “Clinton ‘Can’t Wait’ For White House Correspondent’s Dinner, Kate McKinnon to Host” and “‘Creepy’ Billionaire Betsy DeVos Turned Away From DC Public School: ‘Literally No Reason She Should be Here.'”

The site shows us the one thing that was most important to the American people during the election: what Bill Clinton would have been like as the country’s First Gentleman. You can forget your woes about him using Hillary as a puppet, since he reportedly spends all his time focusing on the curtains.

The creator of Boston-based website confirms that the site is political in nature, and not just something made in good humor. “After the election, I was unprepared to concede the fundamental fact that Hillary Clinton should be our president by virtue of that fact that she won 3 million more votes than Donald Trump and by virtue of her excellence as a woman and public servant,” said creator, who is identified by the mononym-pseudonym, “Blake.”

Reportedly, “Blake” isn’t even her real name…but I still have my suspicions.

Blake, however, denied that the site should be thought of as fake news, which is normally meant to be taken seriously. In another statement, she explained,  “It’s clearly situated within the genre of satire.”


This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...