5 Jobs That Might Be Safe From The Robot Takeover

Times are tough, and they’re only getting tougher. In years past, you at least had the option of joining the sex industry and selling your body to the lonely, yet privileged masses, when things got tough, but then the robots came and took that job away.

So, what jobs are they preparing to steal from us now?

Time for Obligatory ‘Futurama’ Reference!

Instead of focusing on jobs they will take, Shelly Palmer, CEO of The Palmer Group, compiled a list of jobs that are least likely to become automated.

Preschool/Day-Care Teacher

In all fairness, a [former] robot did once take this job

Don’t look at me like that… of course, teachers could and should be replaced by machines. A soulless automaton can only be an improvement. However, there is one card up this profession’s sleeve that might come in handy; Palmer expects there to be “a minimum age law associated with human/machine integration,” meaning that daycares and preschools will likely keep employing humans over machines.

Or they’ll just hire cybernetic organisms with living tissue over metal endoskeletons.

Professional Athletes

Personally, I can see where Palmer is going with this, since robots would probably be unable to use all those nifty performance-enhancing drugs, and where is the fun in that? That said, she admitted that with all these “surgically enhanced, genetically modified athletes,” sports might as well be played be robots. Hell, we could even watch robots beat each other to a pulp (scrap?). Anyway, I hear tennis games can get dark, and without the moral obligations we normally have against blood-sports, we could see some wild stuff.


Look at that pathetic handshake

Yes, we’d all like to replace politicians from both the local and higher levels with machines, if only we could say we did it, but Palmer felt that humanity and politics are too much in line with each other for this job to go to the robots. If all else, she at least points out the obvious, “They are also in a unique position to legislate their own job security.” We also had a former robot as the governor of California, so there’s that.


For the most part, Palmer thinks that robots can compute their way around jobs that have a relatively subjective nature — except when it comes to artists for some reason. As she explained, “Judges, adjudicators, arbitrators, and people who judge baking contests or Olympic sports or any type of contests that require both objective and subjective assessments have practically robot-proof jobs.” However, if robots become sentient then we’re in for real trouble. No one would ever score a perfect 10 in gymnastics again, unless those mechanized monsters lower their standards to human levels… are we still talking about robots, or gymnastics judges?

Mental Health Professionals

This should straight terrify most patients

Palmer acknowledges the elephant in the room on this one and admits that the health industry is going to damn well try and replace all facets of said health industry with AI, but ultimately feels that, “Psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health professionals will simply be the last jobs robots can take.”

In the end, the best option for you, according to Palmer, is to learn just how your profession shall become automated. Normally, I’d also suggest marrying into money, but robot life-partners seems to be the next logical progression to the automated sex industry…

I repeat…dun…dun…DUNNNNNNN….

…also terminators, find a good one…


This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...