You thought Nickelodeon reached the peak of all this nostalgia shenanigans with the Splat, didn’t you? Well, you’re wrong.
It seems they’ve remembered that the real money in children’s media ain’t in the advertising — it’s in merchandise rights. So they’ve decided to open pop-up stories (not a typo; they are literally called ‘Story’) in New York and California in order to honor Nickelodeon’s 25th animation anniversary.
Look, I ain’t saying 1987 called, but I thought Nick learned its lesson when they tried making original movies.
According to one press release, “Gummy bears, watches, pencil cases, and smaller items for the light traveler abound. Guests to the pop-up shop can even take a spin in the Double Dare hamster wheel to finally feel like a contestant on the show (slime not included).”
But really, this is one of those stories where we should show, not tell, but show with my roast-style, in good faith, comments.
Oh, for the love of…how may times do I have to tell y’all that “BAE” is an acronym for “Before Anyone Else;” millennials aren’t too lazy to say all the syllables in “baby.”
And yet they don’t actually sell the slime itself, really knowing your audience, here.
God, this is bringing up memories of my dead hamsters…Brownie, it should have been me who bit that extension cord!
Fond memories of this coming on and putting on Sailor Moon…because, yeah, kids totally have the attention span for game shows.
I cannot unsee this…holy cannoli, Argus Panoptes didn’t have this many eyes.
Of course, in this economy, millennials are more than happy to eat animal biscuits.
Look, I will take back every comment if they spent some money on Eureka’s Castle merch’.
The New York store will open on September 18 and the California store will open on August 24. Those who do not live in those areas can head on over to NeimanMarcus.com.
The 100th customer gets to find out just what happened to the kids from All That (just to be clear, from the good years).