Revealed: Netflix’s Evil Plan To Steal New Year’s

For children, New Year’s Eve is the one day of the year when they’re allowed to stay up past sunset, all the way to midnight, in fact. But the scheming gnomes who run Netflix reportedly want to cheat children out of that privilege as we speak.

Cue the reel!

How are they going to pull this off? Well, as seen in the clip above, they have prepares a series of countdown videos that parents can play during anytime of the night, in order to trick their children into going to be early. In other words, they will exploit popular children’s characters to ruin the holiday for said children.

2016 is really doing its best to end with inferno.

The promotion will involve characters from Fuller House, Word Party, Puffin Rock, Luna Petunia, Beat Bugs, All Hail King Julien, Skylanders Academy, Trollhunters, Project Mc2, and Chasing Cameron.

Is nothing sacred?!

Netflix is all about giving members the freedom to decide when and how to watch, and the New Year’s Eve Countdowns do just that,” said Netflix’s Director of Kids Content, Andy Yeatman, in a released statement. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suspect that their hatred of the innocent also played a factor in their decision.

They put families in charge of the holiday, whether that means celebrating at 9 and then lights out, or ringing in the New Year over and over again,” he added. “I have three young daughters, so for us, that means celebrating three times with three different countdowns they each get to choose.”

To make things worse, they already pulled this stunt last year…and we all know how 2016 went.

[The Huffington Post]

This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...