Kids Get Revenge On Krampus In Modern Austria

In today’s day and age when that worthless reprobate that is the “Elf on the Shelf” has corrupted the Americas, it’s the perfect time for our f(r)iend, the beloved Krampus, to make a comeback. Unfortunately, Krampus has forgotten to account for his timeless enemy, the thing as wicked and cruel as the Krampus is pure and benevolent: teenagers.

As if the Parker–Hulme murder case (and high-school) didn’t already make it clear that teenagers are evil!

During the recent annual Krampuslauf celebration within the small Austrian city of St Johann im Pongau, a group of teenagers brutally attacked a performer dressed as the Krampus. According to reports, none of the performers were seriously hurt, but at least one of the teenagers was arrested. Said teenager’s comrades were also put under arrest when they tried to intervene with police and got quite physical with the officers.

However, to be fair, there have been many other Krampus-related assaults in the past and it’s usually the performers dressed as the Krampus who are to blame. In fact, a troupe of performers attacked a group of teenagers  back in 2015, and another Krampus performer hospitalized a woman the year before in 2014. Wow, this is really putting us between Scylla and Charybdis, when we can’t decide who is the lesser evil: the demons of hell, or teenagers?

Well, by nature, he did side with Lucifer in the great rebellion, but at least he doesn’t kill people in the name of Slender Man.

But who knows? Maybe these Austrians need a little exposure to some “Gnome in the Home” to learn to appreciate how lucky they’ve got it?

[The Local]

[Featured Image: SU Walls]

This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...

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