FBI Director Comey Has A Foolproof Way To Secure Your Webcam

Now, I wouldn’t be joking about cybersecurity if this weren’t ridiculous, so prepare to be amazed and ready those palms so you can bury your face into ’em.


Those of you who’re adept at making sure your tech doesn’t get hacked into are probably not worried about your webcam being accessed, but those of use who aren’t as proficient need to resort to other measures. Some of you probably know where this is going.  So, FBI Director James Comey gave a speech about encryption and privacy in which he reiterated that “absolute privacy” hampers law Enforcement.

That wasn’t what raised eyebrows, though.

At 1:34:45, Comey says this: “I saw something in the news, so I copied it. I put a piece of tape — I have obviously a laptop, personal laptop — I put a piece of tape over the camera. Because I saw somebody smarter than I am had a piece of tape over their camera.”

Yep, the Director of the fucking FBI admitted that he tapes over the lens on his webcam in an answer to a question about the “growing public awareness of the ways technology can spy on people.” You’re the Director of the FBI and that’s the best you can do? Now, worrying about the security of your webcam is reasonable, especially considering the FBI uses malware to spy though people’s webcams, but damn, son!

Comey says tech companies shouldn’t make unhackable devices, but he’s all for making his webcam secure by throwing some masking tape on that B like a third-grader. Gonna be honest, I cover my webcam up as well, but I’m calling this a third-grade move because the Director oft he FBI should have something better to tell us than “cover up your webcam.” What’s more, the fact that he just found this out and is just as concerned is telling.

It’s a simple, but genius move, though some would use that argument to point out his hypocrisy. Christopher Soghoian, principal technologist and a senior policy analyst with the ACLU Speech, Privacy, and Technology Project, did just that by saying Comey has a double standard with his own privacy.

And then he followed it up with some solid sarcasm, because the Internet always needs sarcasm.

All well and good, but Comey also said this:

“[The public should] demand to know how the government conducts surveillance. Demand to know how they’re overseen, how they’re constrained. Demand to know how these devices work,”

Here’s the deal, though. We’re now in a debate regarding whether or not unhackable items should even be allowed to exist. Warrant or no warrant, the authorities want these things gone and, as simple as it sounds, a taped-over webcam is fucking uhackable. So, if you really want to secure your webcam then get a piece of tape and cover that B up.

Hey, if it’s good enough for the numnuts director of the FBI then it’s good enough for you. Personally, I use a post-it note, but that’s just how I do.


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