Donald Trump Fortune Tellers Are Invading New York

Back when arcades were still relevant, it was often commonplace to have a giant puppet fortune-teller that combined the horror of puppets with good old fashioned racism against gypsies. Hell, they even made a movie out of it… remember Big?

Now the phenomenon that is the fortune teller machine is making a comeback, and a Donald Trump mannequin is involved.

No word yet if users are transmogrified overnight into Tom Hanks with an Eighties perm. The machine is reported to say such nifty things as, “I see a huge investment into a high-speed rail system. Very advanced and very fast. And we’re going to use it to deport 11 million illegal Mexicans. And, by the way, I love the Mexican people. I love their spirit. I love their spirit! And I love packing them onto trains like cattle.”

In addition to the verbal fortunes, you can also receive paper fortunes, as can be seen below.


No word on any “Your wish is granted” types are available.

It is currently unknown where the pop-up booths are coming from exactly, but there are two main speculations. One — Bansky is somehow involved. What he, or she, or they, or it is doing in the States is beyond me, but everyone likes a good Bansky. Second — those people who erected those naked Donald Trump mannequins are the next best bet. For starters, they’d already have the base for it.

Remember, we only have a month left until we put have to put up with this sh… until the election is over, I mean. And it is our duty as Americans (except for our darling readers who are based outside of the Americas… I’m apparently huge in Liechtenstein) to vote and become involved with the election.

To quote the great George Carlin, “If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done…I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every right to complain about the mess you created, that I had nothing to do with.

[The Huffington Post]

This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...