Daniel Radcliffe Plays A Talking Corpse In New Movie

For all the grief I give those ever-buzzworthy Harry Potter kids, I have begrudgingly begun to accept that I should probably let them move on with their lives.

After all, Matthew Lewis probably didn’t intentionally try to steal Luna Lovegood from Rolf Scamander and risk negating the existence of Lorcan and Lysander, although I wouldn’t put it past him.

That is not a mustache you can trust…

So, please. Do not misread my excitement over Danny Radcliffe being a corpse as any sort of death-wish, it’s just another reflection on my gallows humor that we’ve all come to love and accept. Behold, Swiss Army Man. Get it! He can be whatever you want him to be! Because he’s a corpse!

A press release explains the plot as follows: “Hank (Paul Dano) is stranded on a deserted island, having given up all hope of ever making it home again. But one day everything changes when a corpse named Manny (Daniel Radcliffe) washes up on shore; the two become fast friends, and ultimately go on an epic adventure that will bring Hank back to the woman of his dreams.

I’m not sure how you sneak a romantic subplot into a movie about a stranded island with a corpse and all the shenanigans that entails. Maybe she’s like Penelope of The Odyssey and Hank’s going to ride Manny’s corpse like a boat to go back home. Makes sense. Pretty much everyone died in that story. Most got eaten, so they didn’t really leave a corpse…

Not exactly how that went down… eh, close enough!

The director explains the title (if you ask me, he should have went with Weekend at Bernie’s 3) saying, “Manny ends up becoming the [Swiss] army man of the film’s title, as Hank realizes he can use him as a water jug (Hank frequently drinks water poured from Manny’s corpse-mouth), an air cannon (he shoves projectiles down Manny’s gullet and shoots them out to hunt), and a compass (after looking at an old Sports Illustrated, Manny gets an erection and, well, points the way forward).

Okay, so I was right about the title, not really about that last part… that’s a little too creepy, even for me! Also, while we’re on the subject, I’m pretty sure (biologically speaking) corpses don’t get… they don’t pay me enough to finish this sentence.

[Consequence of Sound|The Verge]

This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...