Cthulhu Replies To Polish Warrant Issued For His Arrest

Apparently, the great lord Cthulhu “insulted” some politician in Poland in what has to be called one of the most bizarre stories of the last few years.

It all started back in 2014, when a Tor exit node volunteer made a forum post insulting the ex-mayor of a small town in Poland. Believe it or not, this an illegal act in the country of Robert Lewandowki, not to be confused with that dude Trump had running the show. That forum post resulted in a letter being sent from the District Public Prosecutor’s Office in Bialystok, Poland, to the UK Home Office.

The letter specifically points to Article 212, paragraph 2 of the Polish Penal Code, which says that speaking of a person in such a way that will “degrade them in public opinion or expose them to the loss of confidence necessary to occupy a given position […] is subject to a fine or the penalty of limitation of liberty.”

The letter states that it was a user based “~Gość~” who wrote the post on Forum.Poranny.pl about Roman Czepe, former mayor of Łapy. Also, you won’t believe how insistent autocorrect was on changing Czepe to “Crepe.”

“When he read the post, Roman Czepe felt offended by the words used in it,” the prosecutor’s letter continues. “He testified that such a statement clearly humiliated him in the face of public opinion.”

Allegedly, the poster used an IP address of a now-closed Tor exit node run by Thomas White, who sounds like a possible James Bond villain, but is actually just The Cthulhu. Because of that post, the Polish Prosecutor’s Office requested that UK authorities question White as a witness to figure out who made the disparaging remarks about Łapy’s beloved ex-mayor. Thing is, even if UK authorities were like “sure, we’ll play along,” there’s no way of telling exactly where the Tor user connected from… that’s the whole point of Tor.

According to Motherboard, White isn’t too keen on helping the authorities in their search.

“I wish to make my position known that I have no intention of complying with the request from the Polish authorities,” White told Motherboard.

“As far as I am concerned, the person who made the post is expressing a personal opinion on a public official, somebody to whom Mr. Czepe is accountable and answerable as a former democratically elected person and a supposed representative of the people of Poland. As such, the poster is entitled to share his opinion and have it entered into the public sphere,” White’s statement continues.


The great one himself then took to Twitter to comment on the whole ordeal.

I wonder if there’s a similar law in New Jersey that doesn’t allow people to talk shit about Chris Christie… #BridgeGate.

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