California Wants Russian Aid In Wild Secession Plot

The state of California gave its 55-point electoral vote to Hilary Clinton after she won over a 60% majority with 7,457,744 votes over Donald Trump’s 3,949,301. However, Trump won the general election and is currently set to be our next president.

However, one group within the state wants revenge for Trump’s victory and plans to get back at him with an endeavor inspired by the recent Brexit move. Naturally, they may have to turn to the Russians for help.

Now, where are all those British actors going to steal American jobs from?

Now, who are all those British actors going to steal jobs from?

The Yes California Independence Campaign, which still predates Election Day 2016, is taking meetings in Russia to establish a Californian embassy. To emphasize the importance of their newfound alliance, Louis Marinelli, who serves as president of the organization, left for Russia months ago in order to bride a network with the Antiglobalization Movement of Russia.

The alliance could lead to Californian history and culture education, new trade relations, and even tourism promotion. Probably has something to do with their shared history of loving bears.

I thought Russia was on Mr. Trump's side in all of this, but c'est la vie.

I thought Russia was on Mr. Trump’s side in all of this, but c’est la vie.

We want to establish connections with the people of these countries so that when the time comes, we have the ability to reach out and say, ‘Californians just double-opted into independence. Will you now recognize that and therefore recognize our independence from the United States as a country?‘” Marinelli said. According to reports, the Calexit move will hit the ballot as early as 2018.

That said, most of California’s well-organized (yet uncannily preordained) campaign of protests after not getting what they want in this election has reportedly died down, so it might be hard to tell if the state’s voters would be in favor of such a plot. But, on the other hand, this election alone shows that politics can be anyone’s game. I mean anyone’s game, so more power to them.

Look, at this point, I am willing just to settle on a clear explanation on what the electoral college is.

Look, at this point, I am willing just to settle on a clear explanation on what the electoral college is.

On the bright side, New Jersey may finally rebuild its long-forgotten cinema industry and regain its rightful place as the corner-stone of the American film industry. It will probably still be as hard to find work as the normal New Jersey and the traditional film industry combined, but at least we’re getting rid of all those pesky Hollywood celebrities, and that is truly the important thing.

God, I wish I could vote in California.

[Business Insider]

This Jersey Boy's a graduate of Rutgers University, but his heart will always belong to his hometown of Manhattan. And it's pronounced "Wit-2"...maybe, I should trademark that...